Dear Miss Lu,
So, New Year’s Eve I was at this party. We all got pretty wasted and ended up in the hot tub. I found out later one of the girls has herpes. Should I get tested? I mean we were all pretty naked and I’m worried.
L****A**
Dear LA,
The answer to this is an absolute yes. It is more complicated than that though. Unless your naked bits were up against her naked bits the risk of you getting herpes is pretty freeaking small. Herpes (HSV2) or Herpes simplex virus type 2 (the most common type of genital herpes) is primarily passed through skin-to-skin contact. Also, the chlorine in most hot tubs is can often act as a second layer of protection. You don’t have to worry about the virus floating through the water to you. That being said, in a slippery hot tub full of intoxicated nude people you can’t be sure you didn’t make contact. Plus, 1 in 5 adults has herpes. A lot of the time the infected individual it’s not even aware of it. So, even if you are sure you did not make contact with the 1 person who told you about their condition, you could still be at risk.
The real reason I said yes is that what you described is known as a “high-risk” behavior. And when we see one high risk behavior, there are often many more. You can still have fun, but making decisions while intoxicated usually leads to sloppy decisions. Get tested now. Continue to get tested at regular intervals (every 6 months is best). And study up on this stuff before you climb naked into a hot tub with friends. Play Smart, Play Safe!
Love Always,
Miss Lu
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Miss Lu's Tawdry Tip #1 : Sweet Skin
Whether I am prepping for a lover with a night of tenderness on his mind or a beast in bed with more exotic tastes, one of my favorite tricks is a little dusting of honey powder. Honey powder is natural honey that has been spray dried into a fine, white dust. It is then blended with fructose and maltodextrin to keep it soft and light.
This sweet dust has a lot of uses. In baking, it can be a healthy sugar substitute or garnish. It melts in warm liquid, so it's great in coffee or tea. To soften the skin, add some to your bath water.
When it comes to passion, you will find even more uses. Start by dusting a little coating on your neck and shoulders with a small feather duster or soft bristled paintbrush. Have your lover slowly lick the sweet powder from your skin. As you continue to play, brush trails across your body for your partner to follow with their tongue. Great areas to explore include, the neck, breasts, inside of the elbows, underside of the wrists, the "lifeline" on the palms of the hand, the sloping curves of the stomach, the inside of the thighs and the arches of the feet. When preforming oral on a man, brush on an even layer of the honey powder first. Switching from the gentle touch on the feather duster or paintbrush, to the wet warmth of your mouth will create a sensational contrast.
Kama Sutra brand has a Honey Dust in cute black satin bag nestled an exotically designed box. But the brand name means the honey powder will cost you, about $17 for 8oz.
If you buy this same powder from a baking supply shop or online 8oz will cost you about $9. It won't come in a pretty little box but since it is baking grade honey powder it is often a higher quality at half the cost. What? I told you I'm Jewish!
Love Always,
Miss Lu the Slutty Jew
This sweet dust has a lot of uses. In baking, it can be a healthy sugar substitute or garnish. It melts in warm liquid, so it's great in coffee or tea. To soften the skin, add some to your bath water.
When it comes to passion, you will find even more uses. Start by dusting a little coating on your neck and shoulders with a small feather duster or soft bristled paintbrush. Have your lover slowly lick the sweet powder from your skin. As you continue to play, brush trails across your body for your partner to follow with their tongue. Great areas to explore include, the neck, breasts, inside of the elbows, underside of the wrists, the "lifeline" on the palms of the hand, the sloping curves of the stomach, the inside of the thighs and the arches of the feet. When preforming oral on a man, brush on an even layer of the honey powder first. Switching from the gentle touch on the feather duster or paintbrush, to the wet warmth of your mouth will create a sensational contrast.
Kama Sutra brand has a Honey Dust in cute black satin bag nestled an exotically designed box. But the brand name means the honey powder will cost you, about $17 for 8oz.
If you buy this same powder from a baking supply shop or online 8oz will cost you about $9. It won't come in a pretty little box but since it is baking grade honey powder it is often a higher quality at half the cost. What? I told you I'm Jewish!
Love Always,
Miss Lu the Slutty Jew
Monday, January 5, 2009
Preventing Those Unsexy Moments
Miss Lu,
I went to the Dr this week, and he told me that I had a urinary tract infection again and that it could be caused by certain sexual practices. He didn't say which ones though, and I was too embarrassed to ask what he meant. He listed a bunch of stuff, including that some people are just prone to them. I always shower and keep clean, but I was wondering what kinds of things I should try not to do so I might not get one again.
Sincerely,
Uncomfortable
Hi Uncomfortable,
I am truly sorry. Urinary Tract Infections (UTI) are very painful and should be treated right away. If left untreated, a UTI can ravage your body. It can lead to your bladder and kidneys. You were right in going to the doctor right away.
The bottom line, UTIs are cause by your own fecal bacteria getting into the urethra. You can get it from incorrect wiping (always go front to back) or poor hygiene. It can also just be that you have a short urethra and thus are very prone to the infection. As for sex, some risk is found in the friction and irtation that occurs. Most of the time though, moving from anal to vaginal sex is going to be your main culprit. Whether it is with a tongue, a finger, a cock, a toy, a food item or even something I didn’t list everytime you move from the anus to the vaginal area (especially the clitoris) you are exposing yourself to the fecal bacterial. My recommendation is to thoroughly clean of whatever you are using when switching or between uses. Get a new condom or clean off the toy/cucumber with a baby wipe (I keep a bunch in a cute little airtight container near the bed).
UTIS can knock you out of the bedroom for awhile. Obtaining and maintain good sex habits gives you more of what you are looking for; Good Sex.
Love Always,
Miss Lu the Slutty Jew
I went to the Dr this week, and he told me that I had a urinary tract infection again and that it could be caused by certain sexual practices. He didn't say which ones though, and I was too embarrassed to ask what he meant. He listed a bunch of stuff, including that some people are just prone to them. I always shower and keep clean, but I was wondering what kinds of things I should try not to do so I might not get one again.
Sincerely,
Uncomfortable
Hi Uncomfortable,
I am truly sorry. Urinary Tract Infections (UTI) are very painful and should be treated right away. If left untreated, a UTI can ravage your body. It can lead to your bladder and kidneys. You were right in going to the doctor right away.
The bottom line, UTIs are cause by your own fecal bacteria getting into the urethra. You can get it from incorrect wiping (always go front to back) or poor hygiene. It can also just be that you have a short urethra and thus are very prone to the infection. As for sex, some risk is found in the friction and irtation that occurs. Most of the time though, moving from anal to vaginal sex is going to be your main culprit. Whether it is with a tongue, a finger, a cock, a toy, a food item or even something I didn’t list everytime you move from the anus to the vaginal area (especially the clitoris) you are exposing yourself to the fecal bacterial. My recommendation is to thoroughly clean of whatever you are using when switching or between uses. Get a new condom or clean off the toy/cucumber with a baby wipe (I keep a bunch in a cute little airtight container near the bed).
UTIS can knock you out of the bedroom for awhile. Obtaining and maintain good sex habits gives you more of what you are looking for; Good Sex.
Love Always,
Miss Lu the Slutty Jew
Friday, January 2, 2009
The Male "G-Spot"
Dear Miss Lu,
I've heard guys have a G-spot. Is that true? Where is and what should I to with it?
Lost in LA
Hi Lost,
When people talk about the "male G-spot" they are referring to the prostate. The prostate is a walnut-shaped gland about three inches up the front wall of the anal canal. When men are aroused, the prostate swells and secretes part of the fluid that makes up semen. This little gland can provide intense pleasure when stimulated during sex.
There are a few ways to incorporate the prostate into your games.
Beginners: Perineum Massage
The perineum or taint is the nerve-centric space between a man's testicles and anus. The prostate gland lies underneath the perineum, so pressing externally on this stretch of skin can arouse his G-spot. Use your thumb or knuckle to gently knead the area, especially while performing oral sex. As your guy starts to orgasm, press a little bit harder to really send him into orbit. It is often helpful to lubricate your fingers before stroking the perineum. If the stimulation remains outside the body, any type of lubricant (petroleum-base or water-base) will do.
Intermediate: Fingering the Prostate
For this one, you definitely need to talk with your guy first. There is still a huge stigma around anal penetration, especially for guys. Place your lover on his back with his knees bent and his feet flat on the bed. While stroking his penis, message the anus with a well-lubricated pinky (down the road you can use your index or middle finger). Use a water-base lubricant and keep your eyes on what you are doing. When he seems ready, slowly slid your pinky into him, up to the first knuckle. Now that your finger is inside of him, you can take your eyes off the action. Next, go to town on his cock. With your finger exploring his neither-regions, the feeling of you mouth on his penis with send him through the roof. Slip your finger further inside his anus, to the second knuckle, and press the fingertip into the front wall of his anal canal. You can also use a condom during this process. Anal penetration does carry its fair share of risk of infection. A condom can help reduce internal abrasions and help limit exposure to infection.
Advanced: Figging
This technique is NOT for the faint of heart. This should only be use on guys (and gals) with extensive anal experience and high pain tolerance. Straight from my BDSM vaults I bring you ginger figging. The idea is to take a finger of well-peeled gingerroot (the length and width depends on personal taste) and insert it anally. At first the ginger is cold but after a minute the entire anal region is set aflame. The intense heat lasts about 20 minutes. After that, the sensation dulls to a bearable burning. If your first thought is "Oh dear, why?" then DO NOT try this technique. Figging can, for a very small percentage of the population, create and amazing experience. For everyone else it is just painful.
Disclaimer: There are no studies that I am aware of that cover the dangers or benefits of ginger suppositories. However, severely irritating the anal canal (which is already highly susceptible to infection) just doesn’t seem like a good idea. If you do explore figging, proceed at your own risk!
Love Always,
Miss Lu the Slutty Jew
I've heard guys have a G-spot. Is that true? Where is and what should I to with it?
Lost in LA
Hi Lost,
When people talk about the "male G-spot" they are referring to the prostate. The prostate is a walnut-shaped gland about three inches up the front wall of the anal canal. When men are aroused, the prostate swells and secretes part of the fluid that makes up semen. This little gland can provide intense pleasure when stimulated during sex.
There are a few ways to incorporate the prostate into your games.
Beginners: Perineum Massage
The perineum or taint is the nerve-centric space between a man's testicles and anus. The prostate gland lies underneath the perineum, so pressing externally on this stretch of skin can arouse his G-spot. Use your thumb or knuckle to gently knead the area, especially while performing oral sex. As your guy starts to orgasm, press a little bit harder to really send him into orbit. It is often helpful to lubricate your fingers before stroking the perineum. If the stimulation remains outside the body, any type of lubricant (petroleum-base or water-base) will do.
Intermediate: Fingering the Prostate
For this one, you definitely need to talk with your guy first. There is still a huge stigma around anal penetration, especially for guys. Place your lover on his back with his knees bent and his feet flat on the bed. While stroking his penis, message the anus with a well-lubricated pinky (down the road you can use your index or middle finger). Use a water-base lubricant and keep your eyes on what you are doing. When he seems ready, slowly slid your pinky into him, up to the first knuckle. Now that your finger is inside of him, you can take your eyes off the action. Next, go to town on his cock. With your finger exploring his neither-regions, the feeling of you mouth on his penis with send him through the roof. Slip your finger further inside his anus, to the second knuckle, and press the fingertip into the front wall of his anal canal. You can also use a condom during this process. Anal penetration does carry its fair share of risk of infection. A condom can help reduce internal abrasions and help limit exposure to infection.
Advanced: Figging
This technique is NOT for the faint of heart. This should only be use on guys (and gals) with extensive anal experience and high pain tolerance. Straight from my BDSM vaults I bring you ginger figging. The idea is to take a finger of well-peeled gingerroot (the length and width depends on personal taste) and insert it anally. At first the ginger is cold but after a minute the entire anal region is set aflame. The intense heat lasts about 20 minutes. After that, the sensation dulls to a bearable burning. If your first thought is "Oh dear, why?" then DO NOT try this technique. Figging can, for a very small percentage of the population, create and amazing experience. For everyone else it is just painful.
Disclaimer: There are no studies that I am aware of that cover the dangers or benefits of ginger suppositories. However, severely irritating the anal canal (which is already highly susceptible to infection) just doesn’t seem like a good idea. If you do explore figging, proceed at your own risk!
Love Always,
Miss Lu the Slutty Jew
Switching It Up
Miss Lu,
When going from missionary to woman-on-top, do most people maneuver the switch while keeping the guy's penis inside? Whenever I try it, his penis just pops out.
Tetris Challenged
Dear Tetris (love the alias!)
Ahhh, Hollywood and porn make everything look easy. Partners twist around each other like perfect dance. In really life, sex is not that simple . Even the most experienced of couples get tangled up in the sheets. accidently knock each other with elbows, make weird noises with multiple parts of their bodies and end up sweaty (and hopefully happy). Most couples disengage and reconnect.
My best trick for this particular switch up is to start in missionary all the way to the edge of the left side of the bed. Bend you right leg so your foot is flat on the bed. Wrap your left leg around your partner's waist and hook your left arm under his shoulder. Push off with your right arm and right leg, keep a firm grip on with that left hand as you roll him onto his back toward the right side of the bed. If he slips out, stick him back in, keep playing and try again next time.
Miss Lu the Slutty Jew with Advice for You.
When going from missionary to woman-on-top, do most people maneuver the switch while keeping the guy's penis inside? Whenever I try it, his penis just pops out.
Tetris Challenged
Dear Tetris (love the alias!)
Ahhh, Hollywood and porn make everything look easy. Partners twist around each other like perfect dance. In really life, sex is not that simple . Even the most experienced of couples get tangled up in the sheets. accidently knock each other with elbows, make weird noises with multiple parts of their bodies and end up sweaty (and hopefully happy). Most couples disengage and reconnect.
My best trick for this particular switch up is to start in missionary all the way to the edge of the left side of the bed. Bend you right leg so your foot is flat on the bed. Wrap your left leg around your partner's waist and hook your left arm under his shoulder. Push off with your right arm and right leg, keep a firm grip on with that left hand as you roll him onto his back toward the right side of the bed. If he slips out, stick him back in, keep playing and try again next time.
Miss Lu the Slutty Jew with Advice for You.
The "Taste" of Love
Dear Miss Lu,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I have no problem going down on him, I even like swallowing. I just hate the aftertaste. While we are doing it, I’m totally fine. It just afterwards. It feels like slime at the back of my throat and it lasts forever (is that normal)?
Manda, Orange County CA
Dear Manda,
First, I am glad you waited for a long term relationship to stop using condoms. In this day and age, most people don’t save their first time for their spouse. But saving your first time going bareback is not only smart, but it can be pretty sweet and loving too. I’m assuming that even after 3 years you both got tested first. Unprotected oral puts you at a very high risk for STDs.
Second, yes. It’s very normal. Semen (the viscous fluid that contains sperm) is made up of plenty of interesting ingredients, but most of them can be broken up into two categories. 1) ingredients that feed and support the sperm and 2) ingredients that break down the acid in the vagina. The vagina is a pretty inhospitable place and some strong chemicals are needed to break down the acids and give that sperm a fighting chance to reach it’s ultimate goal.
But what does that mean for your throat? If it were a bad taste issue, most of the time that could be countered by a change in diet. But that sliminess, and often times a slight burning or harsh feeling at the back of the throat, is what’s supposed to happen. How do you counteract nature?
Easy. Orange juice. Any citrus juice will work actually. Limeade, grapefruit juice, lemonade. I just recommend oj because it’s usually what people have on hand. The acid in the in the juice gives the semen something to breakdown. As the semen does it’s job, it also loses potency and disappears quickly, leaving your throat slime free. So next time, take a healthy swig of orange juice. Hell, drink the whole glass. You probably need the fluids after that work out (there is a reason they call it a blow job).
Have fun. Be smart.
Miss Lu the Slutty Jew with Advice for You.
P.S. No matter what any guys tells you, there is almost no protein in semen. But it is only about 15 calories per “serving”.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I have no problem going down on him, I even like swallowing. I just hate the aftertaste. While we are doing it, I’m totally fine. It just afterwards. It feels like slime at the back of my throat and it lasts forever (is that normal)?
Manda, Orange County CA
Dear Manda,
First, I am glad you waited for a long term relationship to stop using condoms. In this day and age, most people don’t save their first time for their spouse. But saving your first time going bareback is not only smart, but it can be pretty sweet and loving too. I’m assuming that even after 3 years you both got tested first. Unprotected oral puts you at a very high risk for STDs.
Second, yes. It’s very normal. Semen (the viscous fluid that contains sperm) is made up of plenty of interesting ingredients, but most of them can be broken up into two categories. 1) ingredients that feed and support the sperm and 2) ingredients that break down the acid in the vagina. The vagina is a pretty inhospitable place and some strong chemicals are needed to break down the acids and give that sperm a fighting chance to reach it’s ultimate goal.
But what does that mean for your throat? If it were a bad taste issue, most of the time that could be countered by a change in diet. But that sliminess, and often times a slight burning or harsh feeling at the back of the throat, is what’s supposed to happen. How do you counteract nature?
Easy. Orange juice. Any citrus juice will work actually. Limeade, grapefruit juice, lemonade. I just recommend oj because it’s usually what people have on hand. The acid in the in the juice gives the semen something to breakdown. As the semen does it’s job, it also loses potency and disappears quickly, leaving your throat slime free. So next time, take a healthy swig of orange juice. Hell, drink the whole glass. You probably need the fluids after that work out (there is a reason they call it a blow job).
Have fun. Be smart.
Miss Lu the Slutty Jew with Advice for You.
P.S. No matter what any guys tells you, there is almost no protein in semen. But it is only about 15 calories per “serving”.
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