The "Taste" of Love

Dear Miss Lu,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I have no problem going down on him, I even like swallowing. I just hate the aftertaste. While we are doing it, I’m totally fine. It just afterwards. It feels like slime at the back of my throat and it lasts forever (is that normal)?

Manda, Orange County CA

Dear Manda,

First, I am glad you waited for a long term relationship to stop using condoms. In this day and age, most people don’t save their first time for their spouse. But saving your first time going bareback is not only smart, but it can be pretty sweet and loving too. I’m assuming that even after 3 years you both got tested first. Unprotected oral puts you at a very high risk for STDs.

Second, yes. It’s very normal. Semen (the viscous fluid that contains sperm) is made up of plenty of interesting ingredients, but most of them can be broken up into two categories. 1) ingredients that feed and support the sperm and 2) ingredients that break down the acid in the vagina. The vagina is a pretty inhospitable place and some strong chemicals are needed to break down the acids and give that sperm a fighting chance to reach it’s ultimate goal.
But what does that mean for your throat? If it were a bad taste issue, most of the time that could be countered by a change in diet. But that sliminess, and often times a slight burning or harsh feeling at the back of the throat, is what’s supposed to happen. How do you counteract nature?
Easy. Orange juice. Any citrus juice will work actually. Limeade, grapefruit juice, lemonade. I just recommend oj because it’s usually what people have on hand. The acid in the in the juice gives the semen something to breakdown. As the semen does it’s job, it also loses potency and disappears quickly, leaving your throat slime free. So next time, take a healthy swig of orange juice. Hell, drink the whole glass. You probably need the fluids after that work out (there is a reason they call it a blow job).

Have fun. Be smart.

Miss Lu the Slutty Jew with Advice for You.

P.S. No matter what any guys tells you, there is almost no protein in semen. But it is only about 15 calories per “serving”.